You're No Fun
by Shatterdoll
Summary: Prussia worms his way into a World Conference where he is nearly bored to death by England. Later that night he gives one Mr. Kirkland a surprise visit to see if he's boring at everything... PrussiaxEngland, M for saucy content.


Hi~ This is a one shot for xBeyondxBirthdayx, now SunflowerNightmares for being my 1,000th reviewer on You and I! It... is long overdue. Sorry. I was busy and... well this pairing is kinda crack-ish. It took me a little bit to figure out how to make them have sex without it being rape -laughs-

Prompt: Rated M PrussiaxEngland, during an extended World Conference England gives an incredibly boring speech that practically bores poor Prussia to death, making him wonder if Mr. Kirkland is boring at everything! At night Prussia decides to investigate, sneaking into England's hotel room to find the Brit and have a bit of fun with him!

Hope it's acceptable!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia in any way, shape, or form.

* * *

"No, absolutely not! How many times do I have to tell you that you can't come?" Germany shoots a fierce glare at his older brother who is currently glowering at him from the couch.

"Why not? So long as the World Conference is here for once why can't I come? Eh? Equal representation damn it! It's your fault I'm like this in the first place! You owe me this West! Besides, if you leave me here during the conference Gilbird and I will break all the glass objects in the house, drink all the beer, eat all your wurst-"

"Alright! Damn it, fine you can go if you promise to stay quiet. You do not have a right to make suggestions or statements as the official representative of Deutschland so please try to refrain yourself." Is he really letting this happen? He must be insane.

Prussia pumps a fist in the air. "Ja! Hear that Gilbird, we're going to a World Conference!"

He pats the little chick on the cushion next to him. Germany sighs. "Do you really have to bring your pet? Would it kill you to be respectful for a couple of days?"

Prussia gives him a dirty look. "Watch your mouth West! You're going to offend Gilbird! Who is a vision of social etiquette I'll have you know. Gilbird goes."

"Fine! As if I don't have enough problems with organizing things. Try making my life more miserable than it already is right now..." He rubs his forehead, already envisioning the disasters Prussia might cause.

Prussia launches to his feet, arms wrapping around Germany. "Thanks little bruder, I will be on my best behavior, promise! Now how about I help you relax by taking that stick out your ass and replacing it with my-"

Germany smacks him hard, face bright red. "Idiot."

Prussia rubs his head, wincing. "Ach, that's my West. He's a classy one, the kind you gotta buy a drink for first. So how about I get you a beer and we talk positions."

Germany gives Prussia a glare that borrows all the chill of Siberia. "I'm busy. Go entertain yourself East. I'm begging you. Something that's not destructive."

Prussia salutes. "Ja West, anything for you! Come on Gilbird!"

He stops by the couch and lets Gilbird hop onto his outstretched hand, transferring him to his head. Germany sighs in relief. Finally he might get something done... Prussia heads upstairs cheerfully. He loves it when Germany is under pressure. Sure he is way more irritable than usual but he's also easier to manipulate.

Grinning to himself, Prussia finds his way into Germany's room and into his stash of kinky fetish magazines. Now that is good reading.

~.

Prussia adjusts his tie, smirking up at the building that will be housing the World Conference. The one he is attending. Oh the wonderfully obnoxious things he shall do to piss off his brother (and as much of the world as is possible). He's gotten all swanked up and everything. It'll be such good fun.

Gilbird cheeps from his breast pocket. "I couldn't agree more my feathered friend, let's go inside and remind everyone of my awesome!"

Inside the lobby is bustling with the other countries. Some are waiting by themselves, others in small groups. It has been far too long since he has mingled with his fellow nations. So what if he technically isn't one anymore? Of course back in the day it was never anything so official. Usually it was cramped war rooms. The good old days...

"Ah, and who has let you in you despicable fiend?"

Prussia turns and grins at France who wears a small smile of his own. "Hey there French bastard, what have you been up to other than being a pompous dick?"

France winks. "Following the path of love~ And I assume you've been in your brother's basement?"

Prussia scowls at him. "Fuck off. Spain around? I haven't seen him in a while either."

France shrugs. "But of course. Anyone who matters is here."

Prussia rolls his eyes. "Hardy har, you slay me. I have better things to do with my awesome time than sit through these boring things. I only came because it's around and I thought I could stir some shit."

Laughing lightly, France merely shakes his head. "Trust me, there are plenty who do that already. That cutie Italy, the obnoxious America, just about anyone really, once you get them off task. Not very hard to do mon ami."

"But I have a flare for it. Or have you forgotten just how annoying I can be?" Prussia laughs.

France perks an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's something you want to brag about?"

"Yes bruder, are you sure you want to brag about that?" Germany puts a hand firmly on Prussia's shoulder.

Prussia jumps then smiles at his brother. "Oh, hello West. You can attest to my awesome skills of mentally crushing a man with nothing but the sound of my voice!"

Germany stares at him, a vein pulsing in his forehead. "...Ja, I've had the displeasure. Look, I'm here to remind you to behave yourself. So help me, if you make this meeting worse than it already will be I'll send you home!"

Prussia snorts. "Oh West..." He reaches up and ruffles Germany's hair. The river of gel makes it rather difficult. "You worry too much!"

Giving out a cry of indignity, Germany quickly slicks his hair back. "Bruder! Don't do that! Every time, I swear... Look, please, do as I ask?"

Prussia crosses his heart. "And hope to die."

Germany narrows his eyes. "You're going to if you cause too much trouble."

"Ah, my bruder... something else isn't he France? Like I said, you worry way too much! I'm going to be as quiet as...something that doesn't make any noise!"

Germany looks far from reassured. "...Ja. Make sure you are. We're starting up soon. Have you seen England? He's talking after me and I wanted to double check some details with him."

France looks around. "Let us see, the ever charming Angleterre was being a sourpuss over that way I believe."

Germany nods. "Danke. I will see you inside. And you behave yourself bruder."

Giving Prussia one final threatening look, Germany walks off in the direction France indicated. France shakes his head, tsking. "He would be so attractive if he wasn't so damn angry and stiff all the time. A waste really."

Prussia snorts. "Keep your dirty French eyes off my little brother. Besides, the stiff anger is what makes him so cute. And what about England being a sourpuss? What does he have to be sour about?"

France waves a dismissive hand. "Everything, mon ami, everything. Such a grumpy thing."

That's... interesting. Prussia remembers England being irritable like Germany. Fierce, stubborn, a downright bastard even. But sour? That is something he wants to see for himself.

France and Prussia verbally spar for a while longer until the Conference is getting ready to start. They find a place near Spain, who Prussia greets enthusiastically. It's so fun to see everyone. Living in Germany's basement sucks. Not that he minds being alone. Nope, it's awesome to be all by himself...

As Germany speaks Prussia does his best to piss him off without crossing the line of getting kicked out. He makes annoying suggestions and comments, speaks loudly to France and Spain whenever he pleases, lets Gilbird out which makes half the girls and some of the men squeak with pleasure at his awesome cuteness. The best part is when he and America get into a completely irrelevant argument for nearly twenty minutes about whether it would be better to tint the air with a hint of beer or milkshake flavor. When it is about to go to a vote Germany finally shuts it down, chastising Prussia loudly. He keeps his silence for a while. It won't do to get kicked out just when things are getting fun.

Finally Germany sits, giving Prussia a dirty look. England takes the stand and Prussia sits up straighter. England is wearing a fairly curt expression. However, as England begins to speak Prussia finds something worse than his being a sourpuss... He's boring as hell. He doesn't even get to be obnoxious due to falling asleep maybe fifteen minutes into his talk.

Spain shakes him awake. "Hey, get up. We have a lunch break."

Prussia blinks and wipes his eyes. "...Was? Jeez, what happened to England? When did he get so damn boring?"

Spain pats his shoulder. "Amigo... you really have been out of touch. That bastard always acts boring now. Unless you get him riled up or drunk or something."

Prussia raises an eyebrow. "What happened to all his fire?"

France chuckles. "Do not be so hard on him. The world has changed. It does not do to have too much fire these days. People get suspicious. These are not the wonderful days of our youths, of empires and glorious battles. Money is what makes power now. Doesn't do much good to be interesting anymore."

Prussia's eyes narrow. "Hmph. What a shameful time we're living in. Where is the heart?"

Spain sighs. "There is none. I'm on the decline, you're not even a country anymore, France is considered a coward, and England is boring. We're just getting old I guess. I suppose you have to go with the flow on these kinds of things."

After shooting Spain a sharp look Prussia turns to seek out England in the crowd. "Don't say depressing crap like that. These kids nowadays don't know scheisse. We're still the best of the best."

France pats him on the back. "That is right old man, we have an elegance and romantic je ne sais quoi they can never possess."

Prussia shakes him off. "Don't make fun of me! We are not getting old. England can't be completely boring and... and I'm going to prove it which will totally prove my point because I'm awesome!"

Spain yawns. "And how are you going to do that?"

Prussia opens his mouth then pauses. "Don't know, but I'll cook something up just you watch. Now how about eating, I'm starved!"

France and Spain shoot each other looks of amusement then shrug. "Oui, food sounds very welcome right now."

~.

During the lunch break Germany lectures Prussia about his behavior, which he promptly brushes off. Besides, he's too busy thinking to create more than a minor disturbance for the rest of the day. How to prove that England isn't super boring... such a difficult task! He does come up with a few things but at least half are illegal and the rest are probably physically impossible. There is one that is particularly plausible... if they were about twenty years in the past.

The day ends and the nations retire to their respective hotel rooms. Prussia stares at the ceiling of his and Germany's hotel room, still stuck. Germany glances up from his paperwork. "...Something on your mind East?"

Prussia sits up, frowning. "Problem solving with my awesome brain."

Germany raises an eyebrow. "Well don't hurt yourself. I'm going to take a shower. And I'm locking the door. And if you break it you are going to be the one paying the expenses."

Prussia snorts. "The only money I have is what you give me so you'd pay for it anyway."

"Then don't break it Dummkopf! You give me a headache..."

Prussia turns over on the bed as Germany walks into the bathroom. After a few minutes he gets up. He doesn't need to break the door to get the lock undone, he totally figured out how to pick locks. When one has a lot of free time it's amazing how many random talents one picks up.

Rolling off the bed he puts a finger to his lips to indicate for Gilbird to be quiet. He's halfway to the bathroom when he glances over at Germany's papers. He pauses and picks them up. Might as well peek just to see...

Boring, boring, already knew that, boring, oh ho ho what is this? Prussia studies it closer. It's a list of the countries and the rooms they are staying in. Ultimate jackpot! An awful, devious plan begins to form in his awesome head as he finds England's room number. Yes, perhaps he can test if England is boring in every department in a more unconventional way...

Searing the number into his memory Prussia puts everything where it was and finds one of Germany's credit cards. Now to have some brother bonding time!

~.

Prussia lies quietly in the dark rubbing the bruise on his cheek. Germany didn't have to hit him _that _hard. Still totally worth it. Now he's just waiting for even breaths from the next bed over signifying that Germany is asleep.

Once he is sure his brother is out Prussia gives Gilbird a small pat on the head and sneaks out of the room. The hotel isn't completely dead. There are those who are up and mingling in the halls, their jet lag making it difficult to sleep. None of them stop him nor even pay him much mind even though he wears nothing but boxers. Fine by him, he's on a mission.

Finding himself in front of England's room Prussia knocks as obnoxiously loud as he can. He could go for stealth but Spain had mentioned something about England not being as boring when riled up. And sure enough a few moments later a very pissed off England throws the door open, eyes burning with fire. "Bloody hell, do you know what time it is you damned twat? I'm trying to sleep!"

Prussia looks him up and down, taking in the flannel pajamas, and realizes he has a lot of work ahead of him. Giving England a hearty push back into his room, he slips inside and closes the door. "Gute Nacht England, how are you this fine midnight?"

"'Gute Nacht' my arse! And I was perfectly fine until you woke me with your incessant knocking!"

Prussia flops onto England's bed, looking at him expectantly. "Those eyebrows of yours need their beauty sleep eh? When did you get so pissy? Well, pissier than you used to be."

England all but shoves his face into Prussia's, expression livid. "Why shouldn't I be pissy when you seem to be waking me up for no better reason than to insult me?"

Prussia grins at him. "Oh I came to do more than just that..."

He grabs England and all but hurls him onto the bed beside him, rolling so that he's straddling him. "Everyone says you've become quite the bore England. But surely the conquering pirate I remember still has some fire somewhere. Say... in the bedroom department?"

England's eyes, initially wide with shock, soon narrow in anger. "Get off me you prick! And who says I'm boring?"

Prussia pins England's wrists. "You heard me, people think you're boring. You going to let them get away with that? Show me a good time and I can assure them all they're wrong."

England's face flushes, whether in embarrassment or anger Prussia can't say for sure. "As if I would!"

Prussia begins to nuzzle England's neck, nipping it lightly. He lets his hand trail down to rub England's crotch. "Can't I persuade you?"

Sucking in harshly, England begins to struggle beneath Prussia. "Have you gone mad? Release me at once!"

Prussia continues to rub as he pulls back to smirk at England. "Like you aren't loving this."

England punches Prussia across the cheek that Germany hit earlier. "Fuck off!"

Growling low in his throat, Prussia attacks England, pinning both his wrists again. "That's more like it, give me that fire England!"

"What is wrong with you? Have you gone completely out of your head you psychopath? Release me this instant!"

Prussia brings his knee between England's legs, clumsily resuming the work his hands are now too preoccupied to do. "Ah, come on England, don't be such a stick in the mud. Don't you remember how to have a little fun?"

"This isn't fun, it's sexual harassment! You and France do not seem to know the difference!"

Prussia snorts. "You sound like Austria. Seriously. Besides, if I'm not mistaken you aren't minding the 'sexual harassment' down here."

England's face flushes a deeper shade of red. "Piss off and leave me alone already! I am going to tell Germany about this do you hear me?"

"What, can't handle yourself? Have to run to my baby bruder? How pa-the-tic!" He brings his knee up a little harder and England grunts.

"Why you..."

Prussia leans in and licks England's neck slowly. "Mm, don't tell me you don't want to get with the awesome me."

"Not in the least," he snarls in return.

Prussia leans up and shakes his head. "You really have gotten boring, haven't you jolly ol' England? I'd like to say pip pip and be done with it but... That's sort of boring too, isn't it?"

England glowers up at him. "For the last time, I am not boring!"

"Oh? Could have fooled me at the meeting today when I fell asleep pretty much the second you opened your mouth. Don't take it so hard, not all of us can age gracefully." Even as he teases and provokes he continues to rub his knee up against England, extremely amused by how hard he is getting for all his protesting.

"Ooh maybe it's been a while since you've had a good fuck, that it England? A bit nervous you can't perform like you used to?" He snickers. England is turning as red as one of Spain's prize tomatoes.

"Or maybe..." Prussia takes a chance and releases one of England's wrists to tilt his chin up. "You're afraid to let your facade drop?"

England's hand shoots out and grabs Prussia's collar. Instead of pushing him away he abruptly pulls him in, crushing their lips violently together. A thrill goes down Prussia's spine as he presses into the brutal kiss. For a while their lips and teeth and tongues clash in a most uncivilized way.

England finally pulls away, releasing Prussia to wipe his mouth. "Don't act so smug you prat. I have plenty left in me. You want to see how interesting I can be? You asked for it."

Oh gott it is wonderful what a bruised ego can accomplish.

England reaches up to clasp at Prussia's short silver locks, pulling hard as he brings Prussia into another fierce kiss. As their tongues fight for dominance Prussia's hand wanders beneath the stupid flannel pajama top and slides across surprisingly smooth skin. He finds one of England's nipples and gives it a sharp tweak. England moans into his mouth. So he likes it a bit rough does he? Perfect.

Prussia continues to play with the nub harshly as he sucks on England's tongue. England struggles to get his other hand free but Prussia isn't ready to let go quite yet. He likes having the other pinned right where he wants him.

Perhaps fed up with this, England withdraws his tongue and bites Prussia's lower lip sharply. Prussia sits up, red eyes gleaming. "Oh so you like to bite? Me too."

He returns to England's neck and starts leaving small bites all the way down one side. England doesn't protest but his hand moves down to Prussia's back where his nails begin to bite into skin, leaving thin trails. Prussia's mouth moves lower and he hastily rips open the nightshirt.

"You're paying to replace that," England growls above him.

Prussia snorts with amusement. "Ja? How about I pay with my services?"

He licks England's neglected nipple lavishly before grazing it with his teeth. A smirk forms as he feels England shiver beneath him. For a supposed prude his body sure is a slut. Alright, time to put his awesome skills to full use! As his mouth continues on one nipple his hand returns to pinch and rub the other. England arches up against him with a sigh of appreciation, his leg wrapping tightly around Prussia. The two grind against each other forcefully.

When England is hard in all the places that count Prussia finally releases his wrist. He forces a few fingers in England's mouth. "Suck."

England gives him an indignant glare and bites the unwelcome digits.

"Autsch! You want to do this dry I can do that. If not then behave yourself and do as I say."

Still giving him a dirty glare England sucks on the fingers. Prussia gives him a self-satisfied smile. "That's a good boy."

Prussia continues to tease England's body as he waits. Definitely not his first choice for a good sex romp but England isn't so bad really. Plus, not that he's tiny or anything, but the height difference is so minor he won't have to really work and stretch to do everything like he sometimes has to do. His body sadly does not match his amazing greatness on the inside.

Impatiently Prussia pulls his fingers from England's mouth. "Good enough. Come on, spread 'em for me."

"Do you really have to make this as disgusting as is humanly possible?" And yet Prussia can feel England spreading his legs for him.

"Ja, pretty much. That's what makes it interesting!" He cackles as he tugs down England's pajama bottoms, letting his fingers run along England's cock once before reaching their destination.

He slides one finger in without much ceremony and England hisses sharply. "Well? You just going to lie there like a maiden while I do all the work?"

With a sneer England puts his hands behind Prussia's head and draws him close for another kiss. His tongue slips into Prussia's mouth. "Mmph!"

Prussia pulls back. "What did you just do with your tongue? That felt awesome!"

England gives him a smug look. "You think France is the only one who knows how to kiss?"

"No but seriously, you should tell me how-" England pulls him close again, dominating his mouth. Prussia counterattacks with another finger, coaxing a groan from England.

The fierce foreplay is short-lived. Prussia is too impatient and England never has been one for drawing things out forever like some of the more romantic nations. Prussia leans up, fixing England in a gaze not unlike a predator cornering its prey. "I hope you're ready for my awesomeness England 'cause I'm about to rock your freaking world!"

England clicks his tongue. "Oh dear, but I thought the point is to prove I'm not boring?"

Prussia raises an eyebrow. "Well ja but-"

With one abrupt movement England grabs Prussia and has him on his back before he knows what is happening. He rests his hands on Prussia's chest, practically scowling down at him. "So let me prove my point."

England slips his pajama bottoms the rest of the way off and begins to position himself above Prussia. Prussia watches with an amused grin, not disliking where this is headed. England lowers himself slowly onto Prussia, shivering lightly. He pauses to let himself adjust. Prussia counts to ten then decides he's taking too long. Without a hint of compassion he bucks up and England grunts. "Lay off you bastard! I'll move when I'm damn well ready!"

Prussia groans. "Come on Opa, we'll be here until the apocalypse if you don't get a move on it."

England raises himself up and rocks back down. "Shut up already. Bloody hell."

As England builds a slow rhythm Prussia runs his hands along his thighs and cock antagonizingly. He is considering flipping England over and just going at his own pace when England finally seems to get into it.

Closing his eyes slowly, England begins to smoothly roll his hips, rising and falling on Prussia in the most appealing way. Prussia doesn't usually let people ride him but this is kind of sexy in all honesty. He continues to stroke England lazily, enjoying the show.

England reaches down and grabs Prussia's hands, guiding them up his body, not once ceasing the rocking of his hips. "Touch me here instead. Unless you don't want this to last long?"

"Heh, and what makes you think I'd stop just because you did?" However, he does let his fingers run along England's side, his stomach, over his nipples again. And what a wonderfully slutty expression England wears as he presses against the touches.

Skin slick with sweat, breath ragged, body so deliciously hot, England is the farthest thing from boring in that moment that Prussia can think of. Other than himself of course. He's never boring. Prussia has to hand it to England, he's better than anticipated. He's getting pretty turned on by all this. Sitting back and letting England do it all ceases to be possible at a certain point. Now he is arching up as England is grinding down and fuck does it feel good. One of his hands has come to rest on England's hip to steady and guide him as the pace quickens, fingers leaving a nice bruise to remember him by.

Prussia can feel heat building in his groin. As lovely as it is to have England doing the work, it does not completely sit well with Prussia for the whole thing to go this way. Besides, he's somewhat frustrated by his inability to control the speed or anything. He wants to fuck England harder than this and it's rather difficult in their current positions.

Prussia roughly grabs both of England's hips, forcing him to slow down. England's eyes open and he glares at Prussia. "Wh-why did you make me stop?"

"Position switch!" Prussia lifts England who gives a small cry of protest. "Oh come on, stop whining and get on the bed."

After a bit of struggling Prussia manages to push England down, quickly flipping him so that he is on his knees. He places his hand on the back of England's head and pushes his face against the bed.

"Mm, what a nice view." He gives England's ass a good smack.

Face flushing, England struggles against him and snaps in a muffled voice, "Bastard! Git! Wanker! Get off of me!"

"No, I don't think so. You'll love it, trust me." Prussia uses his free hand to steady the struggling England, slipping back into him. "Mm, come on settle down already. It's done now, might as well enjoy it."

Cutting straight to the chase, Prussia begins to roughly thrust into England, who grunts. "F-fuck you Prussia!"

"You seem to be mistaken, the awesome me is fucking you!" He laughs breathlessly at his own gleaming wit.

He releases England's head so he can grab his hips, pulling them back to meet him with each thrust. England trembles for a moment then twists his head back to glare at him. "You're going to pay for this, I swear."

With a grin Prussia reaches around and grabs England's cock, pumping it in time to his thrusts. England's legs feel like jelly and he moans loudly. "Such big words for the man who is still incredibly hard in such a submissive position."

England growls softly but begins to push back against Prussia, taking his frustration out while working towards getting himself off. Might as well. Hell if he'll admit it but this allows Prussia to hit his prostrate near dead on and it is such a sweet feeling. He hasn't had good sex in a while.

The air becomes thick with the smell of sex. Gott Prussia loves that smell. Relentlessly pounding into England, Prussia feels himself getting closer. England is obviously getting tired in his current stance so all in all perhaps it's not bad timing. What a pretty mess England will make... Oof that is hot to think about.

Prussia gives a little more care to jerking England off, his thumb rubbing across the head in sloppy circles. England's toes curl, his breath coming very quickly now. He mumbles something against the bed, saliva running down the side of his mouth. England lets out a sort of choked gasp as he comes, arching his back oh so prettily. Scheisse, he really is pretty fucking sexy. Who knew?

Not letting England off the hook until he's gotten off too, Prussia pushes England flat against the mattress and focuses all attention on the ever tightening coil within him. Just a bit more... He licks his lips and with a few final erratic thrusts he reaches orgasm, pressing his face against England's back as his legs become weak from the release. England's skin is sticky and damp, his own distinct smell very strong from all the exertion. Prussia presses his nose to the back of England's neck as he tries to catch his breath.

England allows him to stay like that until he feels recovered. Then he impatiently shakes him off. "You are a royal shit, you know that Prussia? Not much has changed."

"Ah, but you definitely liked that, whether you want to admit it or not." He taps England's shoulder lightly and rolls off of him.

Surprisingly satisfied, Prussia slips from the bed, tugging his boxers on. England leans up and watches him with that somewhat sour look on his face. "Still think I'm boring?"

Prussia grins from ear to ear. "Not in the sack anyway. Guess you're more fun than I would give you credit for. Sleep well, and try not to limp too much tomorrow."

He cackles as he exits the room. Feeling like a king Prussia sneaks back to his own room and into bed. Gilbird lets out a small chirp and he softly shushes him. Damn that had been a lot more successful than he had guessed it would be. It is not in the least bit difficult to fall into a very content sleep.

~.

France shakes his head. "Non, non, I simply don't believe it. I am sorry mon ami, you are full of it. There is no way you slept with Angleterre last night."

Prussia winks. "I didn't just sleep with him, I fucked him into the mattress. And it was a pretty good lay if I do say so myself."

Spain frowns. "But... it's England. Are you sure? Maybe you just dreamed it."

Prussia gives them both a dirty look. "How dare you question me? I totally did! I can even tell you where his tattoo is!"

France's eyes light up. "Oh oui? Where is it and what of?"

Spain looks past Prussia. "You might have some troubles Prussia."

"Troubles? What for?" He turns to look behind him in time to get England's fist right across his already double bruised cheek.

He staggers backwards and falls to the ground. "Hey, what gives? You're lucky Gilbird is still in the hotel room or you could have hurt him jerk!"

England crouches menacingly above him, shoving a finger in his face. "That's for last night. And so help me if you tell anyone anything I will castrate you. And take great pleasure in doing so."

He glares huffily at France and Spain then storms off. Spain helps Prussia up as he rubs his cheek. "Damn. That England... Definitely not as boring as one might think. I win!"

"Win what bruder?"

Prussia slowly turns this time. Germany stares at him disapprovingly, arms crossed tightly. Prussia grins. "Hey West! How's it going?"

Germany grabs Prussia by the back of the collar and starts to drag him away. "What's the big idea huh? I did nothing wrong!"

"Please be silent East!" Germany snaps.

France tsks. "Such a shame... that man is truly an idiot. And I never did find out where Angleterre's tattoo is."

Spain makes a disgusted face. "I think I am better off not knowing."

And that is how Prussia came to be permanently banned from attending World Conferences under any circumstances.

~End.

* * *

Translations:

Was?-What?

Dummkopf-idiot

Gute Nacht-good night

Autsch-Ouch

mon ami-my friend

Je ne sais quoi-that certain something

Opa-grandpa

scheisse-shit


End file.
